Healing Hands for Hurting Hearts.

"Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. And love like you have never been hurt."

- Mark Twain - 

Acceptance creates a home amongst people whose hearts beat a spectrum of rhythms.

Acceptance is vital. It creates a home in places that the human mind cannot conceive ; amongst people whose hearts beat a spectrum of rhythms. To most, acceptance by the masses is the sole purpose of life. From kindergarten playrooms to old lady tea parties, life is always a popularity contest. Wanting to be popular transcends fame and glamour, it is the need to be accepted; to be known as an important part of the bigger picture.The more society accepts an individual, the higher they go up the ladder of popularity. And as a consequent, a sense of security comes into place. When a popular kid at school becomes 'old news', he suffers an emotional back lash to a certain level but it's the kid that occupies the lower rungs of the popularity ladder that really feels the heat should he loose the acceptance and love from the only few friends he had. And that's because acceptance or rather insecurity works just like pressure. Physics explains that pressure is equivalent to the amount of force exerted over a given area. In terms of insecurity, force is replaced by the need for acceptance and area is replaced by the number of people that contribute to acceptance. The more people available to cushion the  need for acceptance, the more security is derived. Even out of high school, while there are some that need the acceptance and approval of every tom, dick and harry in their lives, there are some individuals that only seek to be popular amongst the people they really care about. These people, more often than not dedicate all of their heart,soul and strength to making certain relationships work. And when the relationship flails or worst, fails, they suffer a hurt so deep that at times even time cannot heal. As a result, they become too scared to love; too afraid to let someone else in. And sadly, this becomes a very unhealthy circle because hurting people hurt others and history is condemned to repeat itself.

Just like many things in life, happiness is a choice. One cannot be happy without unless they're happy within. A person can only truly be happy when he is able to be happy with nothing at all but himself. Everyone around is chasing after something that they believe would give them true happiness. If they would only stop for a bit and search themselves, many would discover that their constant need to chase after things has a lot to do with the growing void within themselves that happiness is supposed to fill. When I was much younger, I used to chase after my dad's acceptance and approval. His mark of approval meant the whole world to me; it was my security and my guide to what's important and what's right. And then came a time, I couldn't meet his standards no matter how hard I tried and that made me feel worthless. There were days when I would just pretend like everything is good and fine with the world and when no one watched me in the shower, I would cut myself. Growing up, I was a kid with a lot of issues and frankly, no one could get across to me. I was a door shut so tight that no crowbar could break open; I was hurting. And at the end of everyday I would lie in bed wondering, what went wrong where? Whose fault is it? WHO IS TO BLAME? As time passed by I realized, that there was no one to blame but my self and here is why.

Just be good enough for yourself. . .

The court of justice is there to make some right for all the wrongs in the world. But when justice is served, is it fair enough? If it is, why are the victim of the wrong and their loved ones  still left with hurting hearts? In the case of rape, in Malaysia the rapist can be punished for a term extended to 20 years and is also liable to whipping. But in the eyes of the victim, is the punishment to par to the nightmare he/she endured? Definitely not. There is only so much the court of justice can make right. But when it comes to hurt, shame and self-loathe, there is nothing really that anyone can do to make things right for the rape victim again. No one but themselves that is. It's true that rape is an issue that is happening everyday around us but truth be told not everyone endures it. Heart break on the other hand is something that each of us has to face at some point in our lives. And more often than not, we are going to face people that are going to make us feel like we are not good enough to exist or not deserving enough of their love. It's even more tragic when these are the same people for whose love and acceptance we crave. We can try as hard as we want but there would come a time when we'd wake up and realize that we are done trying. And when we stop trying and realize that there is pain in our hearts and the hurt is just too great to deal with, we just shut it in and let it be. As time goes by, and as we allow more and more hurts to heap up, we become nothing more than a being with stone cold insides. Yes, it's true. We create our own monsters by allowing hurt to fester and putrefy in our hearts. People today need to learn forgiveness. Forgiving others though a feat so tough can be accomplished with will, but to forgive one's self is a feat that can only be accomplished with the help of a wise man. A wise man called Acceptance. And only when we are able to accept ourselves for what we are and embrace our all imperfections and ambiguities will we truly be happy people. Everyday is a battle for me because I still am learning to love and accept myself. No one can love that little broken girl in me unless I love her first and truthfully, no one can love her as much as I could. It was a painful lesson learnt, but all for the better.

And if anyone can make it right, it's you.

After every cold, barren winter, comes spring. Beautiful and serene. Just because winter gave us a tough time, we do not take it out on spring do we? We get out as much as possible and smell the flowers and take a walk in the park. Or else we'll miss out entirely on Spring; its beauty and its joy. In the same way, we'll always meet new people who will enrich our lives. Just because a past friendship or relationship did not work out the way we hoped it would it would be both unfair and unwise to to take it out on the new people we meet. One man should never pay for another's mistakes and everyone deserves a chance. And if we keep shutting people out for the fear of getting hurt, we'll never be able to live life to it's fullest and we'd most definitely miss out on love and self development. Like Mark Twain said, love like you have never been hurt for every relationship is a new journey and new journeys take you new places. And in all honesty, you are the  Healing Hands for your Hurting Heart.

To live is to love.