Letter from a SURVIVOR

This letter goes out to every person (men and women alike) who has survived rape. It is in response to the below link and the video featured in it. Please do view the link before reading. Thanks :)

http://www.astroulagam.com.my/Lifestyle/articledetails/tabid/4238/articleId/700/malaysianindianmenrapevictim

Ironic Logic

Dear women,

Life is infinite. No one has the power to give or take life because life is a gift and a truly expensive one at that. One I'm pretty sure no men or women can afford. Hence, no one should be going about commenting on whether or not they would 'give life' to these rape victims. I believe life is what you make of it and tragedies like rape are nothing but a mere dent or a fallen tree in the path of the victim. Dealing with it and coming out stronger rests purely on the victim's shoulders. No one else can do much at making a difference in this matter cause a second chance at life is one that you grant yourself; not one at which you wait and hope for some bloke to walk into your life and present you with in the form of a ring or in this case, the Holy Thaali. People have to understand that rape is not a disease and it's never the victim's fault. Same goes to any crime that makes our world a living hellhole. And sometimes, above all else, the victims have to understand and accept this fact. Only then will they stop looking at themselves as damsels in distress, in need of rescue. Life is still as it is; a gift. Rape doesn't change it, and it's up to you what you want to make of it. Also women are strong. There's no debating that. We have got to stop acting like we aren't.

As for whether or not a said man would marry a rape victim is totally up to him as it purely falls under his autonomy and no one else's. He does not need to answer to anyone for his lifestyle choices no matter how shallow they are, for they are his decision to make and the society honestly has no say in it. Hence we, the society really have no business judging his lifestyle choices; just like no one can say anything on my choice of cheese or your choice of underwear. He may be Indian, Malay, Chinese or belong to any ethnicity for that matter, it does not change these facts. And the media is playing a really sad game like the one played in high schools where a person's lifestyle choices are paraded publicly so that those who disagree might join in and ridicule them. Even if it's for a chivalrous cause, doesn't make it all right does it?

On hindsight, there are truly many men out there. As many as there are who would base their choice of a future bride on whether or not she was a rape victim, there are equal numbers if not more who just couldn't fucking care less. And as educated women of today, shouldn't we rather go for those than the shallow ass-wipes who think marrying a rape victim is a downright tragedy, without a second thought? After all, it's really our choice to make and say "I won't settle for the likes of you!" instead of it being the other way around. I mean c'mon sweethearts, we're worth so much MORE.
Sincerely,
A Survivor.

A MALAYSIAN DEGREE

  We live in a Malaysia today where every person is compelled to at least have a degree at their disposal in order to make it in the working world.   We see parents stereo-typically forcing their kids to become “professionals”; i.e: doctors, lawyers, engineers, architects or venture into fields that are up and coming in the marketplace. The worth of a degree today sadly,depends on its major and 90% of job ads on job search sites require a degree to even qualify for an interview.  In Malaysia, education is no longer the building block of a developed nation. A degree is. But what does a degree really amount to in Malaysia?

 A degree ensures optimal earning. A degree also means a house, a car, better spousal prospects and every other tit and tat that makes the American Dream. Yes, we are not Americans and neither are we residing in America. But the world we live in today promotes security in monetary and material terms. Truth be told, we are part of a hedonistic society that does not take geography into account when it comes to bench-marking success. We want to be America. No, I’m not saying that a member of the society who is a not a degree holder can’t afford a house, a car and the other components of a modern life that we nowadays consider to be a necessity. All I’m saying is it’s just that much harder for a non-degree holder to fulfill the American Dream. Why? Because the road they walk will be a rougher one that involves a higher volume of struggles for a much lower income -- to begin with. Individuals with a degree go home with a bigger paycheck compared to their degree-less colleagues who have the same job or even worse, contribute more to their company’s development then they ever will.

Nowadays, a cert plays a huge role in every person’s life as far as the social ladder is concerned. If you have the papers, automatically your social status is elevated exponentially. You are seen as a role model or someone to look up to for those occupying the lower rungs of the social ladder; i.e.: The Degree-less Joes. Also, a child who is a degree holder is the pride and joy of every Asian family. Every family gathering, get- together, house warming parties, birthday parties and even baby christenings always features a new ‘golden’ child that has made it with a degree. It’s like watching a music video, really; “Happy Birthday to Raj: featuring Arvind's degree”. Asian parents tend to compare their kids with their nephews, nieces and even their friend’s kids in terms of grades -even more at these gatherings than in the privacy of their family homes- and are always pushing them to look at education as a competition. Hence, the one way road to making the elders of your family happy? GET A DEGREE!

 A degree also means you have a bigger variety of jobs to choose from compared to someone without a degree.  As 90% of the job ads on any given job search site requires the applicant to be at least a degree holder, having a degree increases your job opportunities by that much. Basically, your market value in the workplace will skyrocket with the only difference between you and the next person being a degree. Hence, a degree obviously screams OPPORTUNITY for every degree holder. Also, a degree ensures security when the economy fluctuates as it’s common knowledge that the person without the degree will be the first to get laid off with a severance package when companies need to cut down on staffing during an economy downturn-- unless he/she comes with some crazy amount of work experience.

 But in all honesty, Malaysians are what make up Malaysia. Hence, any change that this nation needs has to be inspired by us. We, as a nation need to give in to a paradigm shift in order to attain the status of a First World Country; to be on par with the other developed countries of the globe. Hitherto, we have succumbed to western hegemony due to our mentality that puts westerners and their culture on a pedestal. And when did we learn to accept this as a norm? That’s right! From the very time the socialization process began for each and every one of us. Parents who are primarily responsible for the socialization of a child tend to instill in their children the idea that every successful individual on the planet holds a degree at the very least. And this is thanks to the upbringing that revolutionized their era of glory. In their time, the level of a person’s education was the price tag of their worth. However, in today’s world, even in developed countries knowledge and talent holds more if not equal amount of water than a cert would (depending on the industry). Developed countries are developed for one reason: they adapt to change. Sadly, I can’t say the same for Malaysia. A stellar example would be the world renowned Bill Gates. Yes, he was a college dropout. Yes, he did not have a degree when he started up Microsoft. Yes, he saved Steve Job’s ass in 1997 when Apple’s fortunes were about to hit rock bottom. And yes, he hired his former classmate- a degree holder to work for him and many other degree holders following that. The point that I’m trying to make here is that Gates made a mark in the IT industry without a degree because America gave him a chance. If Gates was a Malaysian residing in Malaysia, would his story have seen equal if not the same ending? I’m afraid not.

  Ironically, the value of education has depreciated with the number of degree holders appreciated in Malaysia. Why am I saying this? Well the blunt truth is, in Malaysia a huge majority of people tend to major in courses that are not necessarily their field of interest; studies that aren't driven by a passion to learn. They read books that don’t instigate their interest a single bit just because they think it will pay more in the future than to be actually studying something they enjoy, are talented in or even makes them happy. Due to this phenomenon, there are 2 outcomes. Number one, more people leave their universities with a degree at their disposal but only a select few actually does well enough to deserve it. And these select few are usually the ones that are passionate about their field of study. The rest are there just to get it done and over it; to be known as a graduate at the end of the 2 years they put in. Number two, the job market for professions that are ‘in demand’ become too saturated way too quickly. And as a result, the students who pinned their hopes on getting an education for a job instead of getting an education for life are rendered jobless, living in their parent’s basements at the age of 28, doing jobs that they resent because the degree they've got just doesn't pay as much as they dreamed it would have. As sad as it is, that is the case in many industries today. And as a result, we have a poor work force that has limited talent and a stunted mind which in turn affects the development of our nation as a whole. Yes, it is a domino effect; a sad one at that.

Please do not misunderstand.I am not against degrees; I'm merely for talent. Yes, parents should encourage their kids to pursue the area of their interest instead of what would pay handsomely as there is honestly a higher chance of these kids being great at what they’re doing and consequently being happy individuals on the whole. And talent acquisition teams in the job market should actually start hiring talents instead of degrees. I believe talent is colour and life is dull without colour. Also, we're living in a world where any tom, dick and harry can BUY a degree these days. So why should it be of more value compared to talent which is rare and exponentially much more potent? Quoting one of  my many favourite authors, William Butler Yeats:  Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire! That honestly, gives true value to a degree.